


Conversations From Vault D

by Cpdcjatl



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-12
Updated: 2015-06-22
Packaged: 2018-04-04 02:59:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4123315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cpdcjatl/pseuds/Cpdcjatl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Drabbles of Skye and Ward's conversations from Vault D.</p><p>Picks up near the beginning of season 2.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

I'm not sure what to expect when I walk down the stairs. Sometimes he seems to be waiting for me and sometimes I catch him off guard. This evening he's sitting on the edge of his bed with his elbows rested on his knees staring down at the shiny grey tiled floor. 

"I wasn't expecting you for at least a few more days," he says without looking up. "What brings you back so soon, Skye?"

I sit in the metal chair I left outside his cell after our last visit and he turns to face me without standing. 

"More questions," I say matter of factly as I open the folder Coulson gave me on our latest Hydra target. "Have you ever been to a Hydra base off the coast of Spain? They're calling it base 216."

"No, but Garrett has mentioned it. They use it for reprogramming potential assets. Hydra rounds up people with powers or gifts or just lots of information and tries to turn them. It's a small island with a five story highly armed bunker that serves as a brainwashing facility or execution chamber, depending on how much progress they make." Ward answers me in a technical and authoritative tone, the way he spoke when he was my SO. It seems like a lifetime ago and yet it's also so familiar. I catch myself letting my guard down and refocus on the questions at hand. 

"What is the best way to get on and off the island?"

"The only way on is in Hydra's custody and the only way off is with a chip in your head, or in a body bag, if you're lucky." Ward stands up from his bed and walks towards me. It's easy to forget he's confined with only a clear glass barrier between us. I feel a knot in my stomach tighten as he moves directly towards me. I close my folder and stand up, moving behind the chair to put something between us.

"Well, if that's all you know, we're done here." I pick up the control to his cell and take a step towards to stairs. 

"Wait, Skye, please tell me you're not going there. It's not the kind of place you can sneak out of quietly. The whole facility is designed to keep people in, people with special powers. Even with a team, you won't make it out."

"The mission is none of your concern, Ward. If you have no other information we're done." I don't turn back to look at him. I don't want to see his face. He looks so broken, his eyes are pools of regret and shame. It almost makes me feel for him, but I can't. I can't stomach any sympathy for this man. 

"It is my concern if it involves you. I agreed to help so I could keep you safe. Just like when I came back to the base for you to keep you out of Garrett's hands. I'm doing this for you, Skye."

I take a step towards the glass and turn to face him. I know I shouldn't let him get under my skin. I shouldn't let him peel back my facade and see my anger, but I can't help it. Whether I like it or not, he knows how to push my buttons.

"Don't play that card with me, Ward. I'm not buying your stories about trying not to hurt the team and only doing this to save Garrett. I don't care what your motivations were. You played us and lied to us, all of us. You don't get to brush that off and play the concerned friend." I feel my cheeks flush and my breath is coming fast. I see something shift in his expression and he raises his hand like he's going to reach out to me but then he lowers it again and takes a small step towards me. 

"Skye." His voice is quieter now and more raw. It's full of emotion and pain, like when he told me about his family. "I never lied to you about how I feel. I lied about a lot of things but I always told you the truth when it mattered."

He takes a step closer to the clear barrier between us and the grid lines that remind him of his captivity brighten orange then red. His eyes are fixed on mine and I taste blood on my tongue as I bite into my cheek. I cannot let him see me falter. I will feel nothing for him, no pity or sympathy, no grief for the friend I lost or the hole in my heart caused by his betrayal. 

"Skye, I lo-"

I switch the barrier to white and race up the stairs that will lead me out of the vault. My heart is a water balloon rising and pulsing in my throat. I feel my face turning hot and I stop to press my forehead against the cool metal of the faded black door that leads me out of my personal dungeon. I guess technically it's Ward's dungeon but it feels like mine too. It's the place where I suffer, where I face every painful memory from the past year. It's the place where I feel the same disappointment and abandonment I carried around throughout my childhood. Down here I'm a scared and lonely little girl, I have no one to trust and I'm all alone. The person I thought I could confide in has let me down and lied to me just like every family whose life I floated through looking for a place to belong and feel loved. There's no lack of love down here though and that actually makes it worse. I know what it feels like to be lied to and cast aside by someone who can't be bothered with me and sees me as a burden or a temporary problem brought into their life. This is different; this time there is love. He loves me, or at least he thinks he does. I don't know if he's really even capable of feeling love. He's never been loved, not once in his life, so how would he even know what it is. That's not such a great argument on my part though since I've experienced about as much love as Ward in my childhood of abandonment. 

I take a long deep breath and try to will my heart rate to slow. I straighten myself and push the door open doing my best to shed my emotions as I cross back into the world above.


	2. Chapter 2

The stairs are cold against my bare feet as I tiptoe down into the vault. I shouldn't be here. I should find Coulson, or May, or Trip, anyone but him. I don't though, I keep walking. The bottle of scotch in my hand is getting lighter by the minute. I stop halfway down the stairs and take another drink. It feels good to have my emotions melt away as the liquid burns it's way down my throat and into my heart. 

The barrier is white and I don't bother to change it, I'm not really here to see him anyways. I just don't want to be alone. I sit with my back against the glass and my knees pulled up to my chest. I set the bottle down next to me and lean my head back against the cold barrier that separates us. 

I close my eyes but that just makes it all rush back into my head. I can feel the trigger against my finger and the recoil of the rifle pressing into my shoulder. I see him stumble back and flip off the boat into the water. I open my eyes and rub them with my palms to erase the image, to wipe my conscious clean. I know I did the right thing. I saved Simmons, and probably a dozen other people as well but when I pull my hands down I see him again. 

Ward told me once that the first time is always the hardest. That after a while I would get used to killing, my mind would numb to the feeling of taking someone's life. What would that be like, what would it feel like to kill someone and just walk away? Could I ever turn away from a body I put down and feel nothing? 

I don't think I want it to get easier. That would make me more like him; that would make me a monster. It doesn't have to be that way though. May and Coulson have both done it and they aren't monsters. I need to find a way to cope and I'm not doing very well right now. I should get up. I should walk up the stairs and into my bunk. I shouldn't be here. I close my eyes again and tell my legs to stand up but they don't. I clear my mind and breath deeply the way May taught me. I must drift off to sleep because the next thing I know a voice is jolting me awake. 

"Skye"

I look around frantically, ready to be yelled at by whoever found me here. 

"Skye!" 

I stand to look up the stairs but there's no one there either. As I walk back towards the glass barrier of Ward's cell to retrieve my half empty bottle I realize the voice belongs to him. He sounds different, more panicked than I've ever heard him, almost desperate. 

I stop at the chair and pick up the control, switching the barrier to oneway viewing. I'm not sure what I expected him to be doing, but it definitely wasn't this. I step closer to the glass so I'm almost touching it and peer across the room. 

"Skye...no...Skye!" 

He's louder this time and I'm so startled I almost fall against the glass. Ward is in bed, shirtless and tangled in his sheet. His arm hangs off the side of the bed making his scars even more obvious than usual and his legs are jerking slightly. He's dreaming. 

I stand there for a few more minutes watching him struggle with whatever he's experiencing; silently hoping it's a dream about me torturing him. I know I'm probably not that lucky though. 

He calls my name again and again as I turn away and walk up towards the vault door. It's still dark in the hall with only the dim green emergency lights streaming through the crack under the door. My hand is on the door knob when I hear one last scream that makes me stop and listen. 

"Let her go! Skye! Skye!"

I should leave. I should walk into the hallway and back to my bunk, but I don't. I walk back down the stairs and turn the glass to clear. I switch on Ward's ceiling lights and pound on the glass. 

"Hey, asshole" I yell banging again. "Wake up!"

Ward jerks upright and stares right at me. His hair is messier than usual and his eyes are dark and frantic. 

"Skye?" He looks around as if he's not quite sure whether or not he's still in the dream. "What are you doing here?"

"Passing by, heard you yelling. Did you know you yell in your sleep?" I take a step away from the glass and sit cross legged on the floor feeling a little triumphant. "You're an inconsiderate asshole even when you're asleep."

Ward smiles a little and walks over to the glass to sit down in front of me. He doesn't bother to fix his sheets or put on his shirt. I rarely see him this way. He's always so polished, even in here; bed perfectly made, clothes neat and clean. I add those to his list of obnoxious qualities, definite signs of a sociopath. 

When he sits down in front of me though he doesn't look like a sociopath. He looks like the old Ward. He looks like the guy I kissed when I though he might die. He looks scared and vulnerable and almost weak. 

"And what are you doing wandering around the halls in the middle of the night?" He asks nodding towards the bottle still beside me. 

"It's none of your business what I'm doing. I'm not your business anymore. I don't want you thinking about me or wondering what I'm doing, and I definitely don't want you dreaming about me." He doesn't say anything as I pause to take a drink. "What we had, Ward, whatever I felt for you before I found out who you really are, that's gone. You lied and pretended to be something you're not, the man I liked, he doesn't exist." I sigh thinking about the person I lost. The Ward who gave me the courage to stay with SHIELD, taught me to be tough and strong, the Ward who warned me about who he really was; that Ward is dead. 

"I told you I was a monster, Skye. I've had horrible things done to me and I've done horrible things to other people, but that doesn't change how I feel or what I want. I know you'll never look at me the way you did before we left the bunker and that's my burden to deal with. If you're down here without any orders from Coulson though, you need to ask yourself why. Why are you seeking me out?"

I don't lift my eyes to meet his. I don't want to see his expression or feel his dark eyes on mine. I grab the bottle and get up, turning away from him without looking back. I make it to the base of the stairs before he speaks again. 

"We're not that different, Skye."

"Yes we are." I spit as I storm back towards him. "That's why I'm here, because I'm nothing like you. I'm here because I feel bad for the things I've done, because I can't turn off my emotions, because I'm not a sociopath. I'm here because I'm nothing like you." 

"Then why are you here alone, with me? You have a base full of friends and colleagues and yet you come to me. You hate me, but you'd rather be with me than with them. Why?"

I stand there for a moment just staring at him. He got up from the floor when I walked away and he's standing right in front of me now. He's so close I could slap him if there were no glass between us. So close I could feel the warmth from his body and smell his musky sent. I feel a pang in my chest and I know it's time to leave. I stare him down with the fiercest look I can manage in my current state. 

"I'm here because right now I hate myself and I guess I wanted to be around the one person I hate more than me. The one person in this base I know I can sit next to and feel better about the things I've done." With that I turn and walk away. I don't wait for him to answer or even look at his expression. I just turn and leave before I change my mind. This time I don't pause at the door. I breeze straight through before I have a chance to turn back.


	3. Chapter 3

I've avoided Ward as long as I can, there's no way to avoid it anymore though. Coulson needs answers about the drawings that seem to be popping up all over the place since Garrett first began to etch the strangle circles and lines all over the glass and walls of the bus. Coulson never said anything specific, but something about the way he asked and the urgency in his voice makes me think it's personal. I haven't been down to the vault for over a week, but as soon as I reach the landing Ward is there; waiting for me. I see a flash of excitement in his eyes as they meet mine and he almost smiles. 

"I was worried you wouldn't come back, after what you said the last time you were here. I'm sorry if I upset you, Skye."

"You didn't," I mumble dismissively. "I'm not here for apologies or to rehash what happened. I was drunk and angry, end of story."

I sit down in the chair with a folder on my lap and Ward walks over to stand in front of me. I wish someone would give him a chair. When I sit here he towers over me and makes me feel so small and powerless. He still intimidates me, even locked behind Hulk proof glass Ward makes me feel uneasy. It's not because I think he would hurt me though. Whether or not his feelings are as sincere as he would have me believe, I doubt he would do anything to hurt me. No, it's not his physical presence that rattles me. It's his eyes; the eyes that made me want to trust him, want to follow him, and want to kiss him. His eyes haven't changed and neither has the way he looks at me. There's a strange tenderness that betrays his otherwise stoic look. 

I decide to stand so he's not looking down at me and as I step toward the glass and look up from the paper I've been pretending to read I immediately regret it. Standing right in front of him is worse, much worse. I can't sit back down now though so I bite the inside of my cheek and swallow my emotions. 

"What do you know about these drawings?" I ask pressing a copy of the etchings Coulson recovered from the church against the glass. 

"Those look like the drawings Garrett did after he was injected with the serum." He leans forward and looks more closely. He looks back up to me and suddenly sounds urgent and panicked. "Skye, who drew these? This isn't one of Garrett's drawings."

"You don't get to ask the questions here, Ward. Do you know anything else about these drawings?"

Ward takes a step back from the glass shaking his head. He rubs his forehead and mumbles something to himself before looking back up at me. His expression is even more stricken and when he speaks his voice is a rage filled whisper. 

"Did you draw this? Was this you, Skye? Please tell me this wasn't you." My mouth drops open and it takes me a moment to find my voice. 

"N-no," I stammer quietly before finding my voice again. "No, Ward, I haven't drawn anything."

Ward let's out a long sigh and I raise my hand by reflex before I realize what I'm doing. I want to reach out and touch him, reassure him that I'm okay. It's so easy to forget who he is; it's so easy to see him as the same old Ward. Maybe May is right, maybe I come down here too often. 

"Skye, it was only hours between the time Garrett was injected with the GH serum and when he started drawing these. I know your serum was different, but you've had that stuff in your system for months. Are you sure you're okay? You don't feel any different?"

Everything flashes red for a moment and my words are spilling out before I can stop myself. 

"Different?! Do I feel different? Of course I feel different, you bastard. I'm not different because of the serum, I'm different because of you. I'm different because you broke my heart."

Ward cringes at my words and I see the hurt on his face before he turns away. Good. I want him to hurt. I want him to understand how I feel. I want him to feel as broken and lost as I do. 

I take a step back from the glass and brush back the hair that has fallen in front of my face. I take a deep breath and blink away the tears welling up in my eyes while I wait for Ward to turn around and face me. He stands there for a minute, unmoving, with his back to me. His broad shoulders move up and down slowly as he breaths in and out. When he finally turns back to me I can still see a hint of pain in his expression and his eyes are glassy. 

I pick up the folder I dropped on the floor next to me and pull out more picture to show Ward so I can report something productive to Coulson when I leave here. I really hope he doesn't watch these sessions. 

"Skye," Ward says gently as he approaches me again. "There's something I need to tell you."

"Unless it has to do with the drawing, Ward, I don't want to hear it. I think we've had enough personal time for one day." 

"It's about your father."

"Don't do this, Ward, Just answer the question. I'm not down here for a heart to heart about the woes of our childhoods. I just want to get the information and leave. 

"This is important, Skye. I didn't want to tell you like this; it seems like I don't have any other option though. I told you I would never lie to you again, but there's something I haven't told you; something important." Ward starts pacing a few steps back and forth in front of me and I decide to let him keep talking. I don't have the energy to keep fighting with him. 

"Before Garrett went completely crazy, he was working with Raina. He recruited her to help him develop the serum, it was supposed to be a cure for him. While she was working with us she mentioned you and she said she knew where your father is. She said he's been looking for you for years, that he wants to see you."

I'm not sure what to say. I'm not sure if I even believe him or if he's just trying to make himself more important to me. May thinks he's trying to pull me into his corner so someone will be here to defend him when his usefulness fades and the topic of execution begins. He seems sincere, but I thought he seemed sincere six months ago when he was lying about everything. 

"Thank you for telling me that, Ward." I say in my most clinical tone. I don't look at his eyes. I keep my focus on the papers in my hands and I bite the inside of my cheek again. I place a picture on the glass and stare straight at the back of it so I can't see Ward's face. "Do you have any more information about this picture?"

"No."

I turn and shove the picture back into the folder before tucking it under my arm and racing up the stairs. I can hear Ward talking behind me but I can't make out any of the words. My head is spinning with white noise and I just want to get out of here. I suddenly feel like I can't breath and as I push through the door I take what feels like my first breath in ages.


	4. Chapter 4

I burst into the vault before I have time to stop myself or cool down. My head is pounding with anger and my hands are trembling. Why didn't he tell me? Why did he let me find out this way? Was he afraid I wouldn't believe him or did he even really know anything about it at all?

May told me to find a punching bag and let off some steam, that's not what I need though. I need him; I need him to hear what this has done to me. 

He isn't facing me when I walk up to the glass. I caught him in the middle of his exercise regiment and he didn't bother to stop. 

"Ward," I bark through the glass. "Why didn't you tell me?"

He jerks around and looks surprised to see me. I think he's come to recognize my footsteps on the stairs and today, when he heard me running, he must have expected someone else. 

"Skye, are you hurt?" He steps forward and his eyes scan me. He looks genuinely concerned and it makes me bristle a little. My first reaction to his attention is always anger; it's faded though. The fury I felt the first time I saw him here has melted away and left behind a more heartbroken ache I feel every time I peer through the glass at what's left of the man I knew. My fury today isn't really directed at him, he's just the best scapegoat around. 

"Why didn't you tell me Ward?" I repeat, ignoring his question. "Why didn't you tell me about my father?"

"I did. I told you he's alive, and he's looking for you."

"You left out the part about him being a psychotic killer." I spit through my clenched jaw. "You left out the part about him being a monster, the part about him being just like you."

Ward sighs and does that thing where his hand reaches towards me a little, almost like a reflex before he realizes he can't reach me and lowers it again. 

"I didn't really know Skye. I heard rumors but as far as I knew they were only that. I've never met him, or seen any of it for myself." 

"So you knew the stories about him and you let me run off thinking it would be all rainbows and puppy dogs, only to find a pile of bodies instead. Are you trying to break my heart again, Ward? Are you trying to punish me?"

His eyes flash bright for a moment before he composes himself and takes as small step towards the glass. He's close enough to make the proximity lines glow and close enough for me to hear him whisper. 

"I'm so sorry, Skye."

I stare at him for a moment trying to muster more anger and rage but suddenly I'm coming up empty. I came down here ready to yell and scream at him and now all I want to do is cry. I lower my head and rest my palm against the glass to get a handle on myself before I start to break down right here in front of Ward. We both stand there quietly for what feels like a long time before I feel strong enough to face him again. When I look up his hand is pressed against mine on the other side of the glass. I don't take my hand away. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" This time I ask calmly, without a hint of anger. 

"I didn't want to put ideas in your head about him if they weren't true. I didn't want you to meet him with a bad opinion of him because of something I said. I wanted you to have a chance with him, a chance to find what you're looking for, a chance to find something I never had."

I nod slightly and I feel a tear fall down my cheek. 

"Thank you," I say quietly as I let my hand fall away from the glass and turn away to find that punching bag.


	5. Chapter 5

"Why didn't you let him kill me, Skye?"

"What?" I ask only half hearing Ward's question. I'm packing up the files Coulson sent me down with and, as usual, Ward takes this opportunity to ask me questions. 

"When Deathlok stopped my heart, why didn't you let him kill me?"

I'm not really sure how to answer. I know why I saved Ward. I know exactly why I did it, I don't want to admit it to myself though, let alone to Ward. I go for a diplomatic answer instead. 

"I don't know, Ward," I say casually and I turn back to the folders spread around me on the floor. Ward and I have been sitting on the floor on opposite sides of the barrier for over an hour going through lists of Hydra agents and marking off the ones Ward is sure are dead and prioritizing the ones he deems the most dangerous. "I guess I wasn't ready to be responsible for killing another human being."

"And you are now? If something like that happened again, after what you've done in the field, would that situation end any differently?"

"Look, Ward," I say setting the stack of files down next to me. "I'm going to be honest with you, I'm not really sure what I would do." And it's true. If Coulson decided to execute Ward I'm not sure if I'd step in. I still feel twisted up inside when I think about all of the things Ward has done, not just the bad things, but the good things too. Everything about him is tangled together in my mind like an endless ball of yarn. When I pull on one memory it always leads me to another, sometimes good, sometimes horrible. 

I doubt I would go as far as Fitz and try to kill Ward myself, but I also don't know how far I'm willing to go to save him. Just before things got bad, Ward told me I woke up a weakness inside of him and I'm starting to think he did the same with me. Before I met Ward I had no sympathy for monsters like him. I've always been the kind of person to give people a second chance and the benefit of the doubt, but not like this, not after the kinds of things he's done. As a child, I learned to let things go and move past my anger. Throughout all my years of being shuttled from one foster home to another I never let myself feel anger towards the families who chose not to keep me. If I had held a grudge and dwelled on the past I would have ended up even more miserable than I already was. I would have turned into a cold, mean, vengeful, and uncaring person; I would have turned into Ward. 

"Well, at least you're honest," Ward answers after a moment, flashing his old smile. He looks so much younger when he smiles. All of the worry and anger fades away from his face and he looks almost carefree for a moment. He's never been carefree though, that's not the way he lives. "For now I'll settle for not getting yelled at in the middle of the night."

I instinctively toss my pen at him in retaliation and it bounces off the barrier and back at me. I flick it aside and I can't help but laugh a little at myself. I can tell Ward is swallowing a laugh, too. After I gather up my stack of folders and wayward pen, Ward stands up and walks next to me along the glass as I head for the stairs. I stop just before the base of the steps and turn towards him. I know I don't owe him explanations for anything, but for some reason I still want to tell him. 

"I'll be gone for a few days," I say and immediately the worry lines are back and the lightness in his expression is gone. 

"Where? Is Coulson sending you to track down any of these Hydra agents?" I can hear the worry in his voice. 

"You know I'm not going to tell you any details, Ward," I say almost apologetically. 

He sighs and leans his hand against the barrier. I almost reach up to touch the glass where he hand is resting, but I force myself to shove it into my pocket instead. 

"Be careful, Skye. If anything happened to you..." He trails off for a moment and his eyes look so far away. He shakes off whatever thought had captured his attention and looks directly into my eyes. I feel immediately uncomfortable. We're close enough together on either side of the glass that he's looking down at me, not imposingly, but also not casual posture. If there were no glass between us, I might worry he was getting ready to kiss me. Or worry that I might raise up onto my toes before my brain catches up with my body and kiss him myself. 

"When you were shot," Ward finally continues, without taking his eyes off of mine. "I couldn't...I was so worried you wouldn't make it. I was so scared I would never see you again or hear you laugh, or yell, or even criticize me. Then, when Coulson put me down here, I worried that same thing all over again and it was so much worse. I won't survive losing you again, Skye."

Ward's eyes are burning into mine and when I open my mouth to answer nothing comes out. I try again, slowly and quietly. I don't want to yell at him again, not for him, for me. I need to control my emotions down here. I've been monitoring my heart rate with the watch May gave me and it's alarmingly easy to pick out my visits to the vault. 

"Ward, if I can survive what you've done to me, you can survive a few days on your own." I smile and briefly raise my hand and brush it against the place where his palm still rests against the glass before turning to climb the stairs. I hear his quiet laugh behind me and I know immediately that the reason I couldn't let Ward die on the bus is the same reason that, if it comes down to it, I'll do everything I can to keep Ward from being executed now. Against all of my better judgement, I still love the lying bastard.


	6. Chapter 6

The dread I used to feel descending the stairs into the vault has faded over the past few weeks and now instead of banishing feelings of nervousness and fear I find myself wrestling with a tinge of excitement I know I shouldn't feel. I should hate Ward. I should wish horrible things upon him, but I don't. I can't seem to muster the raw fury that boiled up inside of me when I faced body after body left behind by this man. 

When I reach the bottom of the stairs Ward is waiting for me with a small smile and a kind look in his eyes. I've been thinking a lot between my visits about what he said about weakness, that I woke up a weakness in him. The way I see it, he has it all wrong. It was his family and Garrett that made him weak, not me. I made him stronger; at least I hope I did. I let him look beyond his world of blindly following orders and stop to push back, it was only a little, but it was something. I desperately want to believe there's good man under all of the scar tissues inflicted on his heart. He is a good man, I tell myself again, or at least he can be. He can changed. He can move past the damage done to him and start again. 

"Good morning. Skye" he says gently. 

I nod and smile in response as I sit down on the floor. I asked Coulson to give Ward a chair, but no luck. We've fallen into a bit of a routine during my visits. I ask all of the questions Coulson sent me with and before I leave I give Ward a little time to ask me questions or just have a conversation. Sometimes he still says things that hit a nerve and I feel a familiar wave of anger wash over me. It's hard to hear him talk about Fitz and Simmons. 

Ward looks more tired than usual. His eyes are sunken and his voice sounds flat and emotionless. I start to ask if he's okay but stop myself before the words can escape my mouth. Of course he's not okay and I'm about to make it worse. 

I place a thick blue folder in front of me and open it so Ward can see the contexts. He freezes for a moment and the small amount of colour left in his face drains away. 

"What is this about, Skye? What's going on with my brother?" The folder contains all of our information on Ward's brother Christian and while on paper he's not quite the monster Ward described; he's not a nice guy either. I can't help but think that if a man this powerful hasn't bothered to do a better job hiding things like affairs, corruption, and bribery then there must be something worse he's been tucking away. 

"He's been rallying against SHIELD in the media. He seems to be working with Talbot to round up and prosecute the remnants of SHIELD. We need to know how to get him on our side."

"Christian is only on one side, his own." Ward hasn't taken his eyes off the picture of his brother since I set the folder in front of him. Christian looks polished and unassuming in his Senate portrait. He doesn't look like the kind of man who would torture his younger brothers, but then again I'm sure I don't look like a killer, so I guess we all have our secrets. 

"Well, then we need to find a way to align our interests. We're finally gaining some ground against Hydra and we can't afford another witch hunt."

"It's risky Skye, all he wants is power and control and unless you're willing to give him some kind of control over SHIELD I don't see him making a deal. He only cares about himself and he's built his whole life on being 5 steps ahead of everyone around him. He manipulates and uses everyone in his way."

"Sounds familiar," I say before I can stop myself. I bite my lip and give Ward an apologetic look. 

"It's okay Skye, I deserve that," Ward says finally looking at me. His eyes are pools of sadness and I have to look away. It hurts to see him like this and at the same time I know he's the last person in the world I should feel sympathy for. My emotions are a constant push and pull with him and today the sympathetic feelings are winning the battle. 

"Well let's start with the basics," I say picking up a few papers. "I need anything you know about his day to day life, friends, allies, enemies, places he frequents."

Ward spends a few minutes listing off possible angles to make contact with his brother before we exhaust all of the relevant information he has and the tone of the conversation begins to shift. 

"Skye, how involved are you in this mission?" He asked quietly, his gaze has returned to the picture in front of him and his voice sounds far away.

"We're been over this Ward. You know I can't tell you anything about mission specifics." 

"I know...but Skye, this isn't safe for you." Ward's suddenly looks up at me and his eyes pierce into mine. "Christian will do anything to hurt me and if he ever found out who you are...how I feel about you...He would kill you Skye, or worse. He doesn't care the cost, as long as he gets to hurt me." 

I want to reassure him, to tell him I'll be fine upstairs hacking Senate files, but I don't. I have no idea who's watching us and while personal conversations with Ward may be frowned upon it's nothing compared to giving him mission details. 

"Skye, promise me you'll stay away from him." His eyes are pleading and desperate. "If he ever got his hands on you..."

Ward lowers his head and shakes it gently as if he's trying to rid himself of a painful thought. I don't say anything, but I close the folder in front of me, slide it out the way, and move closer to the glass. My legs are crossed and my knees are almost touching the barrier between us. 

"Ward," I say gently, putting my hand on the glass. He looks up and I can see the worry on his face. "I'll be fine, I promise." 

Ward raises his hand to mine and holds it there for a moment before pulling it away and standing up. He paces along the glass as he speaks and his voice is focused again. He's back in SO mode. 

"Don't mention anything about what he did to me, no one else knows those stories and if he knows you know me, he'll try to exploit that. If he thinks he can get Coulson or SHIELD to do his dirty work for him you may get him to cooperate. The worst thing you can do is try to control him or back him into a corner. He needs to feel like he has the upper hand; like he's the puppet master."

I stand up and wait quietly for Ward to finish. He needs this as much as Coulson needs the information. He needs to feel like he has some small part in fighting Christian. If he knew I wouldn't be involved he would probably be almost excited about the mission. He doesn't though, and that means he'll wait down here, worrying when or if I'll come back. 

"Ward?" I ask cautiously when he finished speaking. I don't want to intentionally upset him, but there's something I just can't reconcile in my mind. "If Christian was so horrible and controlling, why did you let Garrett do that to you all over again? You let him control you and use you, just like Christian did. Garrett may have helped you escape your family but he didn't care about you, Ward. You were a tool to him, a means to an end. If he really wanted you to be happy and have a life of your own he wouldn't have ordered you to kill Fitz and Simmons. He would have let you go when you tried to pull away."

"I don't know, Skye. I owed him and I made a promise to him and to myself that I would help save him. I had to see that through. I let Garrett mould me to suit his purposes because I thought I was doing the right thing by helping him. Slowly I let that became a part of me. I let him turn me into a monster."

"You told me in the bunker that you're not a good man but I don't know that I believe that, Ward. You've never taken the time to look underneath all that baggage you carry around from what your brother and Garrett did to you to even find out who you really are. Underneath it all, you have a good heart. That's why you did that," I say pointing to his wrists. "You felt bad for what you did to us. If you were just like your brother, or Garrett you wouldn't feel anything for what you did."

Ward doesn't say anything for a while. He just looks at me through the glass and takes a long deep breath. He looks uncomfortable and sad. I think he may have been enjoying himself more when I was yelling at him and calling him a monster. At least then he agreed with me, right now he thinks even less of himself than I do. 

"I did what I did and no amount of analyzing or rehashing it is going to change it, or make you or anyone else forgive me." Ward takes a step forward and places his hands on the glass again. He's looking almost straight down at me. "I just hope, with time, you and the team can learn to accept the person I was. I promised you I'll never lie to you Skye and I want you to trust me again so that when I tell you I want to change, you'll believe me."

I reach up and press my hands against his. The glass is cold and hard and I wish for a fleeting second I could touch his strong warm hands instead. 

"I believe you, Ward," I say quietly before lowering my hands and moving to collect Coulson's folder. "I'll be back soon," I call over my shoulder as I make my way to the stairs and I'm comforted to see his face looks a little less broken than when I walked down here an hour ago.


	7. Chapter 7

"Skye, what happened?" Ward can tell immediately that something isn't right. I'm sure I look like a mess but I'm too panicked to care. I fly down the last few steps barely touching my feet to the ground and rush to find the control to the barrier. 

"It's time to get you out of here," I answer as I get to work lowering the glass. 

"What?" Ward steps forward with a look of confusion on his face. "What are you taking about Skye? What happened?"

"Your brother made a deal with Coulson. In two hours you're being released into his custody. I can't let that happen."

Ward takes a step closer and presses his hands against the glass. Suddenly he looks surprisingly calm, I can almost see the wheels turning behind he dark eyes. 

"What are you doing, Skye?"

"I'm opening your cell," I say without looking up. "I put the security feed on a loop so as far as everyone is concerned you're working out. That won't last long though." I was in a rush so I wasn't as thorough as I would have liked. Looping Ward's footage will give us time to sneak out, but as soon as they start looking into other feeds camera feeds they'll know exactly what I did. I don't care though, I've made my choice. 

The barrier drops down between us and I grab Ward's hand to pull him towards the stairs. I almost pull away when I feel the warmth of his fingers against mine. It feels so good to finally touch him after spending weeks staring at him from the other side of the glass. 

"You can't do this Skye." Wards wraps his fingers around mine and gently pulls me back towards him.

"Yes, I can. The way I see it there are two things that can happen to you in Christian's custody. Either he'll kill you or you'll kill him and I can't let that happen. You asked me if I would save you from dying if I was in that position again and the answer is yes. I can't let you go with him."

Ward puts his free hand on my hip and pulls me towards him. He pulls me up and into his chest until I'm on my toes and his lips brush mine. He hesitates for a brief moment before he kisses me. I feel the warmth of his body pressing into the length of mine and a wave of desire sweeps over me. My lips part as he deepens the kiss and I snake my hand around his neck to pull myself up towards him.

When Ward finally loosens his grip enough for me to settle back onto my feet he rests his forehead against mine and puts both of his hands on my hips. I raise my hands to his cheeks and gently hold his face to mine. I won't let him be destroyed by this. For once in his life, Ward deserves someone who won't give up on him or push him aside. Ward needs someone who will fight for him more than he's willing to fight for himself. 

"I love you, Ward. I can't let this happen to you."

"I love you too, Skye," he says pressing a long kiss into my forehead and stepping away. "And that's why I can't let you throw your life away for me."

Ward takes a step back into his cell, takes off his shirt, and starts tearing it into strips. 

"What are you doing?" I ask taking a step towards him. He doesn't look up, he's moving with purpose and his voice has changed. This is a mission to him. 

"This is your life now Skye. You can't run away with me. You belong here with SHIELD."

"No Ward," I say grabbing his hand. "I belong with you and I see that now. This is my choice and I'm choosing you."

"NO," he almost shouts grabbing me by the shoulders with both hands. "You are not throwing your life away for me, I couldn't live with myself if I let you do that. I need you to listen, carefully. You came down to talk to me, you found me hanging from the ceiling. You lowered the barrier and came in to cut me down, I knocked you over, tied you up and locked you in. Do you understand?" He asks shaking me gently. His eyes are burning into mine and I can't find my voice so I just nod. 

I take a step away from him and hand over my gun full of icer bullets. Ward tucks it into his waistband and climbs onto the bed to hang the crude noose he tied from the strips of his shirt. 

"I'm going to lock you in, but I'll make a lot of noise on the way out so someone should come looking pretty soon."

"What about the footage? I only looped your cell, they'll figure out what I did pretty quickly." I ask raising my wrists towards Ward so he can tie them together. 

"I'll stop by the control room and wipe everything. Don't mention the footage; all you know is what I told you. You found me, I tied you up, and I left."

I nod again and grab Wards hands before he can finish tying mine. He looks down at me with those dark broken eyes and I bite my cheek to keep from loosing it. 

"Promise me something, Ward," I say squeezing his hands tightly in mine. 

"Anything," he whispers as he leans in towards me. 

"Promise me you won't kill anyone. Promise me you won't do anything stupid. You said you wouldn't survive losing me again and I don't want to lose you either. I don't want to lose you to the darkness your family and Garrett put inside of you. You need to fight it, Ward. You need to get away from all of this. Don't go looking for trouble." Wards leans farther towards me and gently kisses me before he answers. 

"I promise you, Skye. I'm going to be better this time."

"You should go," I say as Ward tightens the knots on my wrists and I let my hands fall down in front of me. Ward pulls me towards him and kisses me again. This time is different though; his lips press firmly against mine and his beard is rough against my face. This kiss feels like a goodbye and I feel a burning in my throat. 

"Goodbye," I whisper as Ward pulls away. He smiles a little and kisses my neck just below my ear. 

"I'll come back for you Skye, I promise." He kisses me one last time and takes a step backwards across the yellow line that marks our cell. Suddenly, everything is white and silent and there's nothing to do but wait.


	8. Chapter 8

I'm starting to lose track of time down here. The wall has been white for ages. Fitz and Simmons alternate checking on me every day but I can't remember who I saw last; it's all starting to blend together. I need to get a grip on myself. I need to learn to control myself around the team. I can't keep getting emotional and letting my powers control me. 

Some days are better than others and I manage to have a full conversation with no side effects or vibrations. Other days just the sight of someone walking up to the glass can set me off. I asked Coulson to lock me down here after I destroyed the upstairs lab and he quickly agreed. I'm supposed to be working on my control but I haven't made much progress yet. The team is busy trying to track down and cut off whatever Hydra head pops out of the sludge now that Whitehall is dead, so most days, I'm alone. I listen to music and alternate between trying to calm myself and trying to summon my powers. It's shaky though and I don't always get the results I'm hoping for. 

I spend hours pacing around the cell wishing I left with Ward when I had the chance. If I had gone with him, none of this would have happened. I would still be myself; I'd still be normal. I understand now why Mike hid who he really was when I first found him. As much as I want to be able to control my powers, I worry that if I do someone will try to take advantage of that. That's another reason I had Coulson lock me down here. There are other SHIELD facilities I could have gone to, places with better labs and more experience with inhumans, I don't want anyone to know about me though. There are so many people I don't trust. SHIELD used to feel like one big happy family but since Hydra reemerged I find myself second guessing people's motivations. 

I sit down near the glass in the place Ward used to sit when we would talk and I feel a little comforted by the familiarity of this place. All the hours I spent here with Ward made it feel like a welcoming place to hide away. When I burry my head deeply into the pillow at night and try to force myself to sleep I can still smell him. I hear his voice sometimes too, when I'm drifting off to sleep, I hear him calling my name. It's not the frantic way he called out to me when I found him sleeping, it's the rough whisper from the last time I saw him. 

After Ward left I kept expecting him to show up everywhere I went. I though I saw him a few times in San Juan but whenever I turned to get a better look he was gone or it was someone else. I want to believe he'll come back for me like he promised, I want to believe I'll see him again but I don't think I'm ready yet. I don't want him to see me like this, broken and afraid. I take a deep breath and try to push him from my mind but as soon as I do, I feel tremors in my hands and I have to sit on them to make it stop. So, like most days, I sit on the floor, in his spot, and I think about him. I think about where we would go together and what we would do. I think about starting over and building a new life. I think about his dark eyes, so full of emotion and his strong powerful hands in mine. I feel my body start to calm and I pull my hands out from under my legs and gently place them on the glass, I imagine Ward on the other side, smiling at me. 

Suddenly the white is gone and the room doubles in size. I can see someone walking towards the glass but my eyes haven't quite adjusted to the change in light. He's dressed all in black combat gear, Hunter maybe. I take a step towards the glass and then immediately back away. He's Hydra. I feel my body start to tremble as I back into the wall of the cell and I struggle to stay in control. I can hear the bed next to me rattling and my heart is pounding against my chest. 

He stops in front of the glass and when he pulls off his helmet I almost collapse with relief; it's Ward. 

"I told you I'd come back for you Skye," he says with a smile. 

I'm torn, I want to go to him but I also don't feel completely in control of myself. I could hurt him, I could kill him. I close my eyes and take a deep breath but it doesn't help. 

"Ward, I think you should go," I say quietly. "Something happened to me after you left, I'm dangerous."

"I know what happened to you, Skye. I followed the team to San Juan, and I've been keeping an eye on the lab here too." He walks right up to the glass and for someone who has seen what I can do, he looks incredibly calm. 

"Then you know I'm down here for a reason. I can't control myself."

"I don't believe that for a second. You're strong Skye, and smart, and your powers don't make you a monster. They're beautiful, just like you. You can learn to control this, you just need a little help."

"And you're going to help me learn control?" I ask a little too sarcastically. What would Ward know about controlling himself?

"No," he says stepping right up to the glass. "I'm going to help you accept who you are and learn to embrace it. I'm going to help you start over. First though, I need you to break the glass. A guard triggered the alarm and all the release controls are disabled."

"You want me to use my powers? Here? You're out of your mind." I can already feel my body trembling and my control slipping away. "I could kill you."

"You could," Ward says matter of factly. "But you won't. You won't hurt me, Skye and I'm not afraid of you. Come here," He says putting his hands on the glass. 

I take slow, steady steps towards the edge of the cell and when I'm finally standing in from of him I can't bring myself to touch the glass. Ward must see the fear in my eyes but he doesn't acknowledge it. His eyes are so gently and encouraging. I want to believe him; I want to know for certain that I won't lose control. 

"Put your hands on the glass," he says calmly, and I do. I press my hands into the glass across from his. "Close your eyes, Skye. Listen to my voice and focus. Focus on your hands and mine."

"I can't," I whisper hesitantly. "I'm scared."

"You won't hurt me Skye," Ward says firmly and suddenly I know he's right. I feel a calm I haven't felt since before San Juan creep into my body. My hands heat up and I focus all of my energy on reaching him. My body hums with vibration but none of the panic I felt in the lab when I broke the glass there. This is different, I don't feel scared or out of control. I feel focused and clear. I keep my eyes closed and listen to Ward's voice as he coaxes me on. 

"Breath, Skye. Try to reach my hands."

Suddenly, time seems to stand still and the glass bursts away from my touch. When I look up the air is filled with tiny salt like grains of glass and for the first time, I know Ward is right, it's beautiful. When the air settles I see Ward still standing right in front of me. He closes one hand around mine and wraps the other around my wait pressing me hard against him. He nuzzles his head into my neck and kisses from my ear to my mouth. I rise up to meet him and I feel my body humming again but this time I know it's something else entirely. I kiss him again and again and when he pulls away I burry my face in his chest. 

"Everyone upstairs is on ice Skye, but they won't be out much longer. We need to go." 

I tighten my grip on his hand and follow him as he moves towards the stairs. 

"Where are we going?" I ask curiously. I know it doesn't matter though; I would follow him anywhere. Ward looks back at me over his shoulder with a smile. 

"We're going to build a cabin."


End file.
